Dinners With Ruth

Totenberg reflects on the pain of being widowed, as Marty’s death reminded her of her own experience of losing Floyd. After his death, Ginsburg kept her apartment the way it had always been. Two months after his passing, Ginsburg gave a speech, which had been written by Marty, to the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals Judicial Conference. Totenberg calls Ginsburg the “main attraction” of the conference, and praises her for making “witty and relatable” commentary on the cases she presided over, recalling the details of each one (205). By this time in her career, the Supreme Court had hired two more female Justices, making Ginsburg the “elder stateswoman” of the Court (206). When she disagreed with a ruling, Ginsburg often made dissents, either written or oral. Totenberg explains that oral dissents, in which a Justice can summarize their dissent verbally on the day a decision is passed, were “rare occasions” at Court (206). However, Ginsburg began to exercise this option more frequently in order to “call the public’s attention to any decision she thought was profoundly wrong” (206). These dissents contributed to Ginsburg’s growing fame.

While Ginsburg was privately a more reserved person, she embraced the fact that her “professional star was rising,” turning her into an “icon” at the age of 80 (207). Totenberg attributes a great deal of this attention to the blog “Notorious R.B.G.,” which was created by Shana Knizhnik, a law student at NYU, and celebrated Ginsburg’s work and presented her as “cool” (208). While some in academia and law disapproved of Ginsburg’s celebrity, Ginsburg felt she had to embrace the fact that she was a “role model” (209). Totenberg was amazed at the level of Ginsburg’s newfound fame; she was the center of attention at conferences and even weddings she officiated, receiving standing ovations when she attended the opera as an audience member. Her life was the subject of the film On the Basis of Sex, and her relationship with Justice Scalia was featured in an opera about the two friends. At this time, Totenberg began conducting public interviews with Ginsburg for live audiences. She recalls how Ginsburg often deflected questions that she felt unprepared for, so Totenberg would share her questions with Ginsburg in advance. Despite their long friendship, even Totenberg could be surprised by Ginsburg’s answers. The author recalls enjoying holiday parties with Ginsburg, who was willing to share personal and professional stories with Totenberg’s friends and relatives.

Ginsburg’s increased fame meant that she required more security, and Totenberg felt that the experience made the distinction between their private and public lives more clear. Totenberg was concerned at some of the intrusive ways in which people approached Ginsburg to ask for photos. Her husband David often played a protective role by asking people to give Ginsburg privacy. After Ginsburg was widowed, Totenberg encouraged her to stay active and enjoy the activities she loved. On one occasion, Ginsburg, who loved horses and riding, went horseback riding with David and other friends, which unnerved her security, who were unfamiliar with horses. Totenberg recalls Ginsburg’s amusement that she and David were more proficient riders than her team.

Totenberg feels that all friendships include some hurt or disappointment, and her relationship with Ginsburg was no exception. Ginsburg had a high standard for her friends and had “no tolerance for betrayal” (219). Totenberg recalls that there were times when her work as a journalist upset Ginsburg. For instance, when Donald Trump was running for president, Ginsburg publicly criticized him in two interviews, calling him “a faker” with “no consistency” and an “ego” (220). Totenberg was “astounded” that Ginsburg had revealed her political opinions so publicly and passionately, violating a rule that instructs Justices to not “engage in partisan politics” (220). After Ginsburg issued an apology for her remarks, Totenberg interviewed her at an event and asked her about her comments and subsequent apology. An irritated Ginsburg agreed that she had made a mistake and told Totenberg that she did not want to discuss it further.

The author explains that Ginsburg had not wanted to retire during Obama’s presidency; she was feeling healthy and wanted to keep working. Moreover, she expected Hillary Clinton to win the next election, which would give Ginsburg the opportunity to retire later on, knowing that a democrat president would nominate her successor. Totenberg recalls her growing concern for Ginsburg’s health after she fell and fractured her ribs, and shortly afterward, she discovered that she had cancerous nodules in her lungs. Totenberg’s husband supported Ginsburg and joined her meeting with her doctors as they planned to operate and remove part of her lungs. The author remembers her distress, writing, “David sat down to tell me what would happen. In that moment, I was not a journalist; I was Ruth’s friend, and I wept” (225). Totenberg explains that she embraced her role as Ginsburg’s friend and disregarded her position as a journalist during the last months of Ginsburg’s life.

While Ginsburg recovered, she was permitted to work, but not to attend extra engagements such as speeches and interviews. During this time, she particularly missed her late husband, who used to care for her when she was ill. Ginsburg claimed that her work “saved” her, as it gave her purpose and something meaningful to live for (228). As her health continued to decline, she also continued to enjoy the diversions of live theater and concerts, which she had always loved.

As Supreme Court Justices age and experience health problems, there is often public and political pressure for them to retire. Justice Anthony Kennedy may have bowed to such pressure when he resigned during President Trump’s time in office. Trump’s nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, was soon accused of sexual assault by Christine Blasey Ford, making his confirmation hearings the most controversial since Clarence Thomas’s (232). After “tremendous rancor,” the Senate approved Kavanaugh’s nomination, making him a Supreme Court Justice (233). Covering Kavanaugh’s nomination reminded the author of her experience reporting on the Clarence Thomas hearings, making her feel “queasy” (233).

The author explains that, after her husband, the Court was Ginsburg’s great love, and she always emphasized that the Court retain the public’s trust and not become a partisan institution. For this reason, she disagreed with the concept of a government administration expanding the Court to include more judges. While Ginsburg could have retired during President Obama’s presidency, allowing him to nominate another liberal judge to replace her, she wanted to continue serving and took a “gamble” by remaining in her position (235). Totenberg claims that Ginsburg “fought so hard to live” (235), since she wanted to survive the Trump presidency so he would not choose her successor. The author details Ginsburg’s many painful health ordeals at this time, including shingles, muscular issues, chronic teeth problems, and chemotherapy treatments.

Totenberg was pleased to celebrate Ginsburg’s career at an event at Columbia University. However, the event was overshadowed by Cokie’s recent passing. Totenberg had hoped that Cokie would defeat her latest bout with cancer but ultimately realized that her friend was very weak; she visited Cokie in the hospital shortly before her passing. Totenberg remembers her friend as someone who “was always there to catch my fall” and made her a “better person” (242).

Meanwhile, Ginsburg was trying to make up for missed events and agreed to do an interview with a Berkeley law professor and the dean, which they suggested could form the basis of a book. Ginsburg agreed to allow them to publish their exchange as a book as long as they also published her friend and former colleague Herma Hill Kay’s book about the first US women law professors. Totenberg claims that Ginsburg’s “First the carrot and then the stick” negotiation style was inspired by her professor Gerald Gunther’s advocacy for her early in her career (243). During these events, Totenberg noticed how exhausted and frail Ginsburg was and often worried for her.